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Zombies, Stretch!
Time to cool down from your run, and Sam's still on hand to help - unless his obsession with defeating Janine gets the better of him. Cast * Sam Yao * Janine De Luca * Simon Lauchlan * Jody Marsh * Sara Smith * Ed Harrison Plot Mission Completed Runner 4 suggest a post-workout cool down in the Rec Hall. Downward Dog Sam muses about millefeuille as he attempts to bond with Janine over a videogame. Quadriceps Stretch Janine schools Sam in the game they were playing, so he slopes off to chat to you while you stretch. Hamstring Runner 4 is helping Ed with a spot of knitting as he attempts to make a hat for Molly. Core Strength After a brief debate about the fall of Rome, conversation turns to Runner 3, who is strengthening his back muscles for horizontal activities. Time To Run Sam reluctantly leaves the game behind to head to the comms shack as you and Runner 4 head out for another mission. Transcript growls SAM YAO: Lower the gates. Lower the gates! They’re right behind – lower the gates! siren, gates lowering Oh, close one there, guys. splatters Uh, yeah, got the last of them. SARA SMITH: Who would have thought a bunch of zombie nuns would be so hard to kill? JODY MARSH: And so fast! Even in the wimples and habits! SIMON LAUCHLAN: Hey, I went to a Catholic school. Nuns are the toughest women in the world, bar none. laughs “Bar nun”. SARA SMITH: Got that right! I thought that one with the giant crucifix was going to - JODY MARSH: She nearly did! SIMON LAUCHLAN: But she didn’t. And Runner Five, when you had to – oh, that was a-mazing! sighs Time to go and get our stretch on. JODY MARSH: See you in the rec hall in five! AUTOMATED VOICE OVER INTERCOM: Mission completed! Begin stretching according to your usual cool down program. game sounds SARA SMITH: sighs I love using a foam roller on my iliotibial band. Don’t you, Five? Feels like sounds JODY MARSH: That is exactly what it feels like. Feels like pain! SAM YAO: Looks ridiculous, like you’re trying to roll out pastry with completely the wrong part of your body. Hmm… do you think there’ll ever be pastry again? I mean, that French stuff. Crisp, light. Oh, what do they call them? Those things, with the layers of pastry and cream and icing on the top, and that do those feathered lines of chocolate, and when you crunch through them, all the cream went everywhere! JANINE DE LUCA: Mille-feuille. And don’t build your mead hall there, I need it for defensive entrenchment. SAM YAO: No, you see, I get an extra bonus for building there. Look. JANINE DE LUCA: I’m just going to have to - SAM YAO: Aw! You didn’t have to do it right away! Not while I was distracted watching Five do – is that a groin stretch? It definitely seems to involve the groin-ular region in a major way. JANINE DE LUCA: The next wave of Visigoths is coming over the hill in three turns, Mister Yao. We have to be ready. Look, spiked fence. SAM YAO: Oh yeah, well, you’d know all about building stuff and keeping it secret and defensive positions around your secret underground laboratory. JANINE DE LUCA: Yes, yes, I would. I know how to do my duty and keep my mouth shut. SAM YAO: And I thought we were friends. JANINE DE LUCA: Friends are an operational liability. I knew the secret wouldn’t stay secret the minute you all arrived here. Why don’t you just go and help Five with that - what is that? Downward dog? While I deal with the king of the Tervingi'.' SAM YAO: Oh yeah! Oh, you’d love that, wouldn’t you? All the points for you, none of the points for me! JANINE DE LUCA: That’s how it’s going to be anyway, Mister Yao. Just take a look. The Tervingi are attacking in three, two, one. SARA SMITH: How are you doing that, Three? SIMON LAUCHLAN: muffled What? JODY MARSH: It’s not normal! SIMON LAUCHLAN: muffled It’s normal if you did twelve years of yoga, honey! Got to keep limber. One of the best ways to prevent aging. SARA SMITH: Doesn’t it – it looks like it messes with your internal organs. JODY MARSH: Or like, compresses your brain! SARA SMITH: Into your ass. SAM YAO: games sounds Aw, dammit! JANINE DE LUCA: Now, think hard, Mister Yao. Ought you to have spent your gold on that mead hall, or would you have done better preparing defenses against the - SAM YAO: Alright! JANINE DE LUCA: Imagine if everyone had thought this way before the zombie apocalypse, Mister Yao! SAM YAO: Fine! JANINE DE LUCA: If some of us hadn’t stuck to our positions, come what may - SAM YAO: I understand, Janine! sighs I never liked this game anyway. I’m going to go and see what Five’s doing. Five, what – I thought you were supposed to be doing a simple quadriceps stretch. That can’t be good for your – aren’t you going to twist it right off, doing that? JODY MARSH: No, look. You have to hook it over like this. ED HARRISON: I can’t get my fingers to - JODY MARSH: It’s okay, just relax! You’ll get it. ED HARRISON: If I turn it around, then maybe I can - JODY MARSH: You’re holding your breath! Try to breath! ED HARRISON: Aw, now look! I’ve dropped a stitch! JODY MARSH: Don’t panic, we can fix it! You’re doing really well, you know. Fair Isle is hard. ED HARRISON: I just wanted to do a little hat for Molly. SIMON LAUCHLAN: We can get some for you, you know. Lots of kid’s clothes in town. Just say the word. JODY MARSH and ED HARRISON: That’s not the point! JODY MARSH: It means more if you make it yourself. ED HARRISON: And it’s the challenge. SARA SMITH: You know, like you and those ultra-long runs you go for just for the heck of it. SIMON LAUCHLAN: And you and your constant target practice. SARA SMITH: It’s good to have a challenge. Otherwise, you go soft. SAM YAO: I dunno, look at that position Runner Five’s holding now. Might be good for your hamstrings, but it looks a bit too much like hard work, to me. SARA SMITH: My point entirely, Sam, thanks. game sounds JANINE DE LUCA: Ah! Damn you, Alaric the First! Damn you to Hades! How am I supposed to run a stable and profitable empire when you - SAM YAO: Oh, still playing that? JANINE DE LUCA: I didn’t know you even you had trebuchet! I don’t even think they’re historically accurate for the period. SAM YAO: That’s a bit silly, that game, really. Trying to prevent the fall of Rome? It’s just impossible! They got decadent, your soldiers are rubbish, none of them know how to fight - JANINE DE LUCA: That’s defeatist talk. SAM YAO: I mean, by this point, right, the Roman Empire couldn’t possibly survive. They’ve forgotten all of the skills of their ancestors. They didn’t even - JANINE DE LUCA: - know how to make mille-feuille anymore? SAM YAO: Yes. No, wait. Are you trying to make some kind of point, Janine? JANINE DE LUCA: You know this is the Major’s favorite game. If you can prevent the fall of the Roman Empire, you can prevent - SAM YAO: Yeah, yeah, I get it. JANINE DE LUCA: Look at Five, working on core strength. Look at Three, working on – what are you doing, Si? SIMON LAUCHLAN: It uh, strengthens the back muscles, darling. It’s great for uh, other horizontal activities? JANINE DE LUCA: laughs Thanks. throat Strengthening defenses. Do you see? SAM YAO: Do you have to turn everything into a teaching moment? JANINE DE LUCA: Yes. Yes, I do. opens MAXINE MYERS: Guys, I think Evan’s looking for you? SAM YAO: But we’re on break. Plus, I’m – game sounds Yes, yes! In your face, Uric of Aquitania, in your face! See if you can come back at me now with your stupid flaming arrows. MAXINE MYERS: Yeah, something’s going on outside the gates. They need spare runners. SARA SMITH: Evan was supposed to send Two, Sixteen, and Nineteen out on a canned food run. They’ll be coming back in, laden and slow. SAM YAO: Mmm… is it urgent? Because I’ve got this campaign, and I - MAXINE MYERS: Evan said to say “zombie priests”, who picked up a trail - JODY MARSH: I thought I saw something in those cloisters! SIMON LAUCHLAN: They always hunt together. Priests and nuns! I tell you, they’re in league with the devil. SARA SMITH: Maybe not the devil. SIMON LAUCHLAN: Well, it depends what school you went to. Come on, Sam, get on secondary comms. JODY MARSH: Let’s go distract some zombies while our runners come on home. SAM YAO: sighs Fine. Goes for you, too, Five. Unbend yourself. We’ve got some zombies in habits longing to chase you. laughs That sounds like a very bad spam on Rofflenet. I don’t know what’s wrong with my brain, sometimes. Oh, come on, Five. Time to run.Category:Side Mission Category:Season Two